How To Mess Up An App in 3 Steps
It’s so easy to make senseless mistakes when outsourcing the app development process. One minute you’re riding high and feeling like a million bucks when you suddenly realize you goofed big-time and made a huge mistake or three. Hopefully this never happens to you, but it’s possible so pay attention to the cautionary tale we’re about to share with you today.
I imagine you’ll be kicking yourself if you make dumb, easily avoidable mistakes!
Instead of leaving your app development project vulnerable and at risk, learn from our fictional friends and avoid making other people’s mistakes.
So pay attention to a simple three-step process specifically designed to completely mess up your app development project! Once you learn from the biggest boneheads in the biz, you’ll know how to avoid making the same mistakes.
Step #1: Did You Ignore the Time Zone Difference Again?
Our whiz bang team outsourced their app development to an overseas developer with a nine hour time zone difference. Great job! I’m sure they saved a bundle, right? They better have because they just turned their app development project into a living hell!
Guess what? The developer has every intention to work on the project during her normal 9 to 5 business hours. Since her 9 AM starts at their midnight, our crackerjack team is going to have plenty of sleepless nights in the coming months. Congratulations for making such a foolish move! Time mastery is different for each individual.
They may convince the developer to meet them halfway so they don’t have to completely throw their schedule off until development is complete. But there’s no guarantee she’ll do anything to alter her work schedule.
So dear reader, if you do plan to hire somebody outside your time zone, you better figure out how you’re going to effectively communicate with your developer with this huge time zone difference standing in your way.
In a perfect world, your development outsourcer will have at least 4 to 6 hours’ worth of overlapping time during the workday. So you really should steer clear of any developers on the other side of the world. Otherwise you’ll be working while your developer is sleeping and vice versa. You seriously need to avoid this at all costs to spare your sanity!
Step #2: Don’t Forget to Send Your Developer 100 Emails a Day!
Thank God their developer is in another time zone! Otherwise she’d end up strangling every member of our dingbat team if they were within a reasonable distance. The easiest way to force a developer to put a hit out on you is to constantly email questions, whine about silly concerns too often, and constantly ask for different updates – you know, the things you paid this dev to take care of.
By over-communicating with your developer, you may have the best intentions at heart, but you’re actually sabotaging your project. Your developer needs to enter the zone and not be bothered at all during the workday. Your constant interruptions are making it impossible for her to make meaningful progress on your app development project. So if that was your goal, touché! You did a fine job!
Step #3: Testing! Who Needs Testing?
Those sly devils! They thought they’d avoid testing altogether to save a couple of bucks. They failed to put services that do error monitoring in place, and they never even thought about hiring an in-house testers to make sure their app was up to snuff.
Now that they’ve officially launched and their app is actually making some headway in the marketplace, they’re getting dozens of angry emails every five minutes from unhappy customers! Why? Their app has a million bugs, it freezes constantly, and some of the best features don’t even work!
They shouldn’t have tried to scrimp on testing and error monitoring and neither should you. Now they have an angry mob in front of their office with torches and pitchforks ready to burn them at the stake! I bet they wish they bothered to test their app before launching, right? They’ll never make that stupid mistake again, or so I hope.
I hope you enjoyed our fictional three-step app developing process. If you go this route and follow these instructions, you’re bound to waste hundreds of thousands of dollars, develop an app that’s a complete piece of garbage, and piss off every customer you’ve ever had! If you want to go the right direction, high-quality software development, we encourage that more and wish you good luck my friends!