My daughter was quite distraught this morning.  She had found a penny yesterday and she had put it in her room to before she went to bed last night.  When she woke up this morning, she could not remember where she had put the penny and was in a panic to find it.  We looked everywhere in her bedroom without any success.

I stepped out of the room for a couple of minutes and then returned to the search.  “Miraculously”, only a few seconds after rejoining the search, I “found” the absent penny!

Anyone who has had children knows exactly what I did.  I went into our change jar, dug out a different penny and then planted it in my daughter’s room where it was found and solved the problem.

The reason that this works because for people, perception is reality.  My daughter perceived that I had found her lost penny so, in her mind, I did find her lost penny.  The fact that he penny she has now is not the same penny that she lost is irrelevant.  In her mind, this is her penny.

This same principle holds just as true for managers and employers as it does for five year old girls with lost pennies.  It can be very easy for IT personnel to give the people that they answer to the perception that they are busy working on projects when, in reality, they are doing other things.

For example, it is quite difficult for your boss to know the difference between you researching for the new mail server upgrade project and researching your hobby.  Or writing a post on your blog looks an awful lot like working on that server documentation.

Here’s the thing.  You may get away with this for a while.  In fact, you might get away with it for years!  But, in the end, it will come back to bite you on the backside.  Here’s why.

1. Reality always trumps perception.  In the end, your knowledge of the mail server upgrade will be deficient or the server documentation does not get done one time.  People notice these patterns over time and this will negatively affect your reputation.
2. Hard, diligent work always pays off long term. There is something to be said for hard work.  It teaches you to focus, to complete projects and to be responsible.  None of these things can be learned through deception.
3. The risk isn’t worth it.  So, what do you think your boss will say when (not if) s/he discovers that they have been paying you to surf the Internet?  Best case scenario, you will get a reprimand.  Worst case scenario, you are looking for a new job without a good letter of reference.

I know the temptation to pull the wool over your employer’s eyes is strong.  It is so easy to do.  But the long term damage that you could be doing to your career just does not justify it.  RESIST!

If you found this post useful, why don't you buy me a cup of coffee to show your gratitude?

I recently read 64 Things Every Geek Should Know and I was inspired to create The “Official” Geek “Must Do Before You Die” Checklist:

Done	#	Item	Web Reference
	1.	Add a Third Monitor	http://www.tomshardware.com/forum/17960-13-adding-monitor
	2.	Build a Linux Firewall	http://www.ocmodshop.com/ocmodshop.aspx?a=1524
	3.	Build a Network File Server	http://dailycupoftech.com/howto-install-freenas/
	4.	Build a PC	http://www.pcmech.com/byopc/
	5.	Build a Robot	http://www.hiskey.us/PhysicalComputing/Week10.aspx
	6.	Build an HTML based Website using Notepad	http://www.w3schools.com/htmL/
	7.	Bypass a Computer Password on All Major Operating Systems	http://www.joetech.com/2009/01/29/how-to-crack-the-account-password-on-any-operating-system/
	8.	Bypass School or Work Website Blocks	http://laptoplogic.com/resources/64-things-every-geek-should-know
	9.	Carry a Computer Cleaning Arsenal on Your USB Drive	http://laptoplogic.com/resources/64-things-every-geek-should-know
	10.	Compile a Linux Kernel	http://www.cyberciti.biz/tips/compiling-linux-kernel-26.html
	11.	Control Your House Lights with a Computer	http://www.instructables.com/id/Control-lights-in-your-house-with-your-computer/
	12.	Convert Cassette Tapes to Digital Audio Files	http://lifehacker.com/software/mp3/alpha-geek-how-to-digitize-cassette-tapes-222394.php
	13.	Crack a Wi-Fi Password	http://docs.lucidinteractive.ca/index.php/Cracking_WEP_and_WPA_Wireless_Networks
	14.	Create “Hello, World” in at Least Five Different Programming languages	http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alphabetical_list_of_programming_languages
	15.	Create a Disposable E-Mail Account	http://dailycupoftech.com/2009/03/14/create-a-temporary-e-mail-account-on-your-domain/
	16.	Create a Recovery Drive Image of Your Computer	http://dailycupoftech.com/2008/05/06/free-or-open-source-imaging-solutions/
	17.	Create a WordPress Plugin	http://net.tutsplus.com/tutorials/wordpress/creating-a-custom-wordpress-plugin-from-scratch/
	18.	Create a WordPress Theme from Scratch	http://www.wpdesigner.com/2007/02/19/so-you-want-to-create-wordpress-themes-huh/
	19.	Create an Add-On for Firefox	http://lifehacker.com/software/programming/how-to-build-a-firefox-extension-264490.php
	20.	Create an SSH Tunnel	http://www.ehow.com/how_2036605_create-ssh-putty.html
	21.	Create Music with Keyboard	http://thebatman.net/keybored/
	22.	Design and Build a Circuit Board	http://www.olimex.com/pcb/dtools.html
	23.	Do Cool Things to Altoids Tins	http://www.squidoo.com/altoids-tins
	24.	Download a Video from YouTube	http://keepvid.com/
	25.	Download Wikipedia	http://download.wikimedia.org/
	26.	Execute a Shell Script	http://www.mcsr.olemiss.edu/unixhelp/scrpt/scrpt1.2.html
	27.	Find a Users IP Address on AIM	http://www.elitehackers.info/forums/archive/index.php/t-2827.html
	28.	Find a Website IP Address Without Web/CommandPrompt Access	http://laptoplogic.com/resources/64-things-every-geek-should-know
	29.	Flash System BIOS	http://www.pcstats.com/articleview.cfmarticleID=1605
	30.	Hack a Pop Machine	http://skattertech.com/soda-machine-hack/
	31.	Hack a USB Drive Startup File	http://dailycupoftech.com/usb-drive-autoruninf-tweaking/
	32.	Hide a File Behind a JPEG	http://www.online-tech-tips.com/computer-tips/hide-file-in-picture/
	33.	Homebrew Hack Game Systems	http://www.3stepads.com/2009/03/05/learn-unlock-wii-system/
	34.	Increase Wi-Fi Range	http://www.mavromatic.com/archives/000451
	35.	Install a Content Management System for a Website	http://dailycupoftech.com/2009/04/24/cms-roundup/
	36.	Irrecoverably Protect Data	http://www.truecrypt.org/
	37.	Jailbreak an iPhone	http://lifehacker.com/398906/jailbreak-iphone-20-with-pwnagetool
	38.	Know the Meaning of Technical Acronyms	http://www.techterms.com/acronyms.php
	39.	Know Who Mulder and Scully Are	http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mulder_and_Scully_(song)
	40.	Learn and Write Javascript	http://www.yourhtmlsource.com/javascript/basicjavascript.html
	41.	Learn At Least One Fictional Language	http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_constructed_languages
	42.	Learn Hexadecimal and Binary Number Systems	http://www.wisc-online.com/objects/index_tj.aspobjID=DIG1102
	43.	Learn How to Convert a DVD to x264 (or XviD or DivX)	http://howto.diveintomark.org/ipod-dvd-ripping-guide/
	44.	Learn How to Hot Wire a Car	http://howto.wired.com/wiki/Hot_Wire_Your_Car
	45.	Learn How to Install Mac OS X on a PC	http://dailyapps.net/2007/10/hack-attack-install-leopard-on-your-pc-in-3-easy-steps/
	46.	Learn How to Reset RAM	http://www.yousaytoo.com/sudjarwo/how-to-reset-ram-in-a-computer/29133
	47.	Learn Important Keyboard Shortcuts	http://ow.ly/548w
	48.	Learn the Fastest way to Kill a Computer	http://www.pcstats.com/articleview.cfmarticleID=1720
	49.	Learn to Identify Keyloggers	http://www.ghacks.net/2007/06/28/how-to-defeat-most-keyloggers-on-public-computers/
	50.	Learn to Identify Major Constellations	http://www.sky-watch.com/astronomy-guide/major-constellations.html
	51.	Load Rockbox onto an MP3 Player	http://rockbox.org
	52.	Lock Your Computer with a USB Drive	http://lionjkt.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/how-to-lock-your-computer-with-usb-drive/
	53.	Make a Cat5 Patch and Crossover Cable	http://geeksaresexy.blogspot.com/2006/01/save-money-how-to-make-your-own.html
	54.	Make a Laptop Cooling Pad	http://www.instructables.com/id/Lazy-mans-laptop-cooler/
	55.	Make Your Office Ergonomic	http://www.ergotron.com/tabid/305/language/en-US/default.aspx
	56.	Mod a Flash Drive Case	http://www.instructables.com/id/Metal-USB—Flash-drive-case-mod/
	57.	Monitor Network Traffic	http://www.slac.stanford.edu/xorg/nmtf/nmtf-tools.html
	58.	Mount and ISO in a Virtual DVD Drive	http://www.howtogeek.com/howto/windows-vista/mount-an-iso-image-in-windows-vista/
	59.	Move Completely To Open Source	http://www.osalt.com/
	60.	Permanently Delete Data on a Hard Drive	http://www.dban.org/
	61.	Permanently Delete Your Facebook Account	http://www.facebook.com/group.phpgid=16929680703
	62.	Pick a Lock	http://www.gregmiller.net/locks/mitguide/
	63.	Play a Geek Practical Joke	http://www.wired.com/entertainment/theweb/news/2008/03/pranks08currentPage=all
	64.	Play Retro Games without Retro Consoles	http://www.ladyada.net/make/fuzebox/index.html
	65.	Put LEDs Inside a Light Bulb	http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2006/06/make_a_led_bulb.html
	66.	Put Open Source Firmware on a Router	http://kamikaze.openwrt.org/docs/openwrt.html#x1-40001.1.1
	67.	Read 1337 At Normal Speed	http://www.wikihow.com/Read-and-Write-in-1337
	68.	Recover Deleted Files	http://lifehacker.com/393084/how-to-recover-deleted-files-with-free-software
	69.	Recover Master Boot Record	http://www.ntfs.com/mbr-damaged.htm
	70.	Register Your Name as an Internet Domain	http://www.thesitewizard.com/archive/registerdomain.shtml
	71.	Remotely Control a Computer	http://www.pcstats.com/articleview.cfmarticleID=1441
	72.	Replace a Laptop Keyboard	http://www.refurbished-laptop-guide.com/how-to-remove-a-laptop-keyboard.html
	73.	Replacing a Laptop LCD	http://www.fonerbooks.com/laptop_4.htm
	74.	Retrieve Data off Hard Drive	http://laptoplogic.com/resources/5-ways-to-retrieve-data-off-a-crashed-hard-drive
	75.	Rip Streaming Videos	http://applian.com/download-videos/
	76.	Run an Operating System from a USB Thumb Drive	http://www.pendrivelinux.com/
	77.	Run Multiple Computers with one Keyboard and Mouse	http://dailycupoftech.com/2007/02/19/multiple-computers-1-keyboardmouse-no-kvm/
	78.	Run Operating System inside a Virtual Computer	http://linuxvirtualization.com/
	79.	Run Your Own Ethernet Line	http://www.ertyu.org/steven_nikkel/ethernetcables.html
	80.	Screw with Wi-Fi Leeches	http://tech.nocr.at/hacking-security/baffle-wifi-leeches-with-an-upside-down-ternet-2/
	81.	Setup a Computer in the Cloud	http://howto.opml.org/dave/ec2/
	82.	Setup a Streaming Media Server	http://www.n00tz.net/2008/07/vlc-media-server-ubuntu-hardy/
	83.	Setup a VPN	http://www.computernetworkinghelp.com/content/view/41/1/
	84.	Setup an Apache, MySQL, Mail, PHP server on Windows and Linux	http://www.apachefriends.org/en/xampp.html
	85.	Shrink a Website URL	http://internet.suite101.com/article.cfm/shrink_a_link_with_free_url_shorteners
	86.	Soldering Glasses Together	http://www.ehow.com/how_1315_weld-glass.html
	87.	Strip Windows DRM	http://undrm.info/remove-DRM-protection/FairUse4WM-freeware-DRM-removal-Windows-software-Strip-copy-protection-from-WMV-ASF-WMA-Windows-Media-Player.htm
	88.	Surf the Web Anonymously	http://www.torproject.org/
	89.	Survive in a Linux Argument	http://www.linux.com/articles/feature/
	90.	Tethering a Smartphone	http://www.tech-recipes.com/rx/2276/smartphones_bb_treo_tether_modem_usa_carriers/
	91.	Turn a Laptop into a Digital Picture Frame	http://repair4laptop.org/notebook_picture_frame.html
	92.	Turn Webcams into Security Cameras	http://www.simplehelp.net/2006/09/27/how-to-use-your-pc-and-webcam-as-a-motion-detecting-and-recording-security-camera/
	93.	Unbrick a Smartphone	http://www.howardforums.com/
	94.	Understand What “There’s no Place Like 127.0.0.1″ Means	http://www.tech-faq.com/127.0.0.1.shtml
	95.	Unleash a Laser Pointer’s full potential	http://hacknmod.com/hack/6-fantastic-laser-pointer-projects/
	96.	Unlock an iPhone	http://www.pcworld.com/article/137223/how_to_unlock_an_iphone.html
	97.	Upload a Video to YouTube	http://www.youtube.com/watchv=qFyIT7rVZ0Q
	98.	Use a Camera in Manual Mode	http://digital-photography-school.com/digital-camera-modes
	99.	Use Bittorrent Effectively	http://infinitium.blogspot.com/2005/03/js-essential-howto-guide-bittorrent.html
	100.	Wire a Home Theatre System	http://www.prillaman.net/ht_info_8-wiring.html

I have also created a handy PDF version that you can download.

The list can be summed up as follows:

[Logic+Emotion]

Now it’s your turn.  What is on your geek “Must Do Before I Die” checklist?  How far along are you?  Let us know in the comments.

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• Gumstix Project Ideas

If you found this post useful, why don't you buy me a cup of coffee to show your gratitude?

I am presently reading Malcolm Gladwell’s latest book Outliers and I find it to be interesting just like the rest of his books.  While I was reading the chapter The Ethnic Theory of Plane Crashes, a footnote caught my eye.  This footnote had little to do with the rest of the chapter, except that it was about a disaster.  It reminded me how easy it is for our IT infrastructure to become a Three Mile Island.

Here is what Gladwell wrote:

Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers, page 183

One of the most famous incidents in history, for example, was the near meltdown oat Pennsylvania’s Three Mile Island nuclear station in 1979. Three Mile Island so traumatized the American public that it sent the US nuclear power industry into a tailspin from which it has never fully recovered.  But what actually happened at that nuclear reactor began as something far from dramatic.  As the sociologist Charles Perrow shows in his classic Normal Accidents, there was a relatively routing blockage in what is called the plant’s “polisher” - a kind of giant water filter.  The blockage caused moisture to leak into the plant’s air system, inadvertently tripping two valves and shutting down the flow of cold water into the plant’s steam generator.  Like all nuclear reactors, Three Mile Island had a backup cooling system for precisely this situation.  But on that particular day, for reasons that no one really understands, the valves for the backup system weren’t open.  Someone had closed them, and an indicator in the control room showing they were closed was blocked by a repair tag hanging from a switch above it.  That left the reactor dependent on another backup system, a special sort of relief valve.  But, as luck would have it, the relief valve wasn’t working properly that day either.  It stuck open when it was supposed to close, and, to make matters even worse, a gauge in the control room that should have told the operators that the relief valve wasn’t working was itself not working.  By the time Three Mile Island’s engineers realized what was happening, the reactor had come dangerously close to a meltdown.

No single big thing went wrong at Three Mile Island.  Rather, five completely unrelated events occurred in sequence, each of which, had it happened in isolation, would have caused no more than a hiccup in the plant’s ordinary operation.

The moment that I read this passage, I immediately thought to myself, “This is exactly what happens when IT systems fail!” Rarely is it because a server suddenly goes up in smoke (although that does happen in instances of office fires). Rather, there is usually a series of mishaps, bad decisions, and forgetfulness all mixed together with a liberal dose of Murphy’s Law.

So, what can you do to protect yourself from these small “hiccup”s before they become a Three Mile Island?  Here are a few things that I can up with:

1. Do not neglect your regular maintenance.
2. Never assume that no news is good news.
3. As boring and tedious a job as it is, go through your event logs and make sure everything is working fine.
4. Assume the worst.  If you did not get an error alert via e-mail, do not assume that there was no error, rather, assume your e-mail is down.
5. Track small problems so that you can continue to deal with then then they are small problems.
6. When big problems do occur, document the small problems that contributed to the big problem.
7. When a small problem occurs, perform a worst case scenario analysis to see what could have actually happened.
8. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.
9. As much as is possible and within your budget, ensure that redundant systems are in place at every step of the way.  RAID5 hard drives in a system that has dual power supplies connected to two UPS systems connected to separate power companies with a complete failover system to another computer if there is a failure in one of the single points of failure (e.g. motherboard).

As a bit of motivation, here are some Murphy’s Laws that pertain to technology, courtesy of Murphy’s Law Site:

• Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
• Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
• Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
• If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
• The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.
• The attention span of a computer is only as long as it electrical cord.
• An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
• Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch to be sure. great discoveries are made by mistake.
• Always draw your curves, then plot your reading.
• Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
• All’s well that ends.
• A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
• The first myth of management is that it exists.
• A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
• New systems generate new problems.
• To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
• We don’t know one millionth of one percent about anything.
• A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.
• Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day’s work.
• Some people manage by the book, even though they don’t know who wrote the book or even what book.
• The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
• To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.
• After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
• Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.
• A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.
• If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.
• Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
• .Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a “Pearl Harbor File.”
• Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
• If you can’t understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
• The more cordial the buyer’s secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order.
• In designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totaled correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. The correct total will become self-evident at 8:15 a.m. on Monday.
• Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. And scratch where it itches.
• All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.
• The only perfect science is hind-sight.
• Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling.
• If it’s not in the computer, it doesn’t exist.
• If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
• When all else fails, read the instructions.
• If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
• Everything that goes up must come down.
  Corollary: Not always
• Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner.
• Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.
• Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.
• The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.
• A difficult task will be halted near completion by one tiny, previously insignificant detail.
• There is never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
• The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.
• If there is ever the possibility of several things to go wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
• If something breaks, and it stops you from doing something, it will be fixed when you:
  1. no longer need it
  2. are in the middle of something else
  3. don’t want it to be fixed, because you really don’t want to do what you were supposed to do
• Each profession talks to itself in it’s own language, apparently there is no Rosetta Stone
• The more urgent the need for a decision to be made, less apparent become the identity of the decision maker
• It is never wise to let a piece of electronic equipment know that you are in a hurry.
• Don’t fix something that ain’t broke, ’cause you’ll break it and you still can’t fix it
• You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
  Chong Kwong Sheng addition:
  Only by the splatter of the blood stains
  The last two laws were sent by Chong Kwong Sheng
• Dobie’s Dogma:
  If you are not thoroughly confused, you have not been thoroughly informed.
• A screw will never fit a nut.
• Standard parts are not.
• When working on a motor vehicle engine, any tool dropped will land directly under the center of the engine.
• Interchangeable tapes won’t.
• Never trust modern technology.  Trust it only when it is old technology.
• The bolt that is in the most awkward place will always be the one with the tightest thread.
• The most ominous phrase in science: “Uh-oh . . .”
• The 2nd worst thing you can hear the tech say is “Oops!” The worst thing you can hear the tech say is “oh s**t!”
• Any example of hardware/software can be made fool-proof. It cannot, however, be made damn-fool-proof.
• The Rossemblat Graphic Insult Theory:
  When any technological change is made, we have a graphic insult curve. No mater how high the insult curve climb, the important thing is how long it goes.
• Bahaman’s Law:
  for any given software, the moment you read software reviews and manage to master it, a new version of that software appears.
  Yakko’s addition:
  The new version always manages to change the one feature you need most.
• In today’s fast-moving tech environment, it is a requirement that we forget more than we learn.
• It is simple to make something complex, and complex to make it simple.
• Measurements will be quoted in the least practical unit; velocity, for example, will be measured in ‘furlongs-per-fortnight’.
• In electronics repair the part with the highest failure rate will always be located in the least accessible area of the equipment.
• Multi-million pound technology is worthless in the hands of morons.
• The rule of Protection:
  If you install a 50¢ fuse to protect a 100$ component, the 100$ component will blow to protect the 50¢ fuse.
• Karl Imhoff was a German engineer who developed sewage treatment systems in the early 1900’s.  His biggest contribution was the Imhoff Tank, which allows sewage to settle.  The Imhoff Law relates to bosses everywhere.  The law goes as follows:
  The largest chunks always rise to the top.
• High tech man-year = 730 people trying to finish a project before lunch.
• An expert will always state the obvious.
• The boss is always right.
  Corollary: If the boss is wrong, refer back to the rule.
• On a cruise ship, the one, most important part you don’t have in stock always breaks on a Friday evening, just when you left harbor and the next time you will be in harbor is a Sunday or Christmas eve.
• The chance a copy machine will brake down is proportional to the importance of the material that needs to be copied and inversely proportional to the amount of time till the material will be needed.
• Maintenance department neglect customer’s complains till it starts installations in customer’s new projects.
• Murphy’s Law on HVAC systems:
  An HVAC (Heating Ventilating and Air Conditioning) engineering firm, will invariably lease office space in a building with a lousy HVAC system.
  All the engineers can do is shiver or sweat and moan about it, and say how they would fix it if the building owner actually gave a damn.
• The probability any machine breaks down increases with the importance of expected visit.
• if it works in theory, it won’t work in practice.
  if it works in practice it won’t work in theory.
• Research Law:
  No matter how clever and complete your research is, there is always someone who knows more.
• Somers’ Law of Repair:
  No part ever fails where you can reach it, or where there is enough light to see how to replace it.
• Any tool dropped will fall where it can cause the most damage.
• Any wire cut to length will be too short.
• Equivalent replacement parts aren’t.
• When you finally update to a new technology, is when everyone stop supporting it.
• Interchangeable parts aren’t
• The proposed size of any project is inversely proportional to the size the project will eventually become.
  Corollary: Any project that can consume more resources before reaching it’s final state will do so.
  This will happen faster than you think.
  Also, the investors will not be happy.
  Sent by Jon Proesel
• The less intelligent the idea, and the person stating it, the more likely it will be funded.
• A man with one watch is certain about time. A man with two watches isn’t.
• The more knowledge you gained, the less certain you are of it.
• If you think you understand science (or computers or women), you’re clearly not an expert
• Technicians are the only ones that don’t trust technology
  The last four laws were sent by Jan Wenall
• All impossible failures, will happen at the test site.
  Corollary: All impossible failures will happen on the clients desktop
• The more you want to contact someone over an instant messenger is inversely proportional to the chances that they will be on-line.
• The more important your email is, the worse your email client will screw it up.
• The degree to which a device will function is directly proportional to the number of times it has been bashed and inversely to its cost.
• A device having an indestructible component or is user serviceable is deemed unsafe until it’s replaced by an expensive, unobtainable, inefficient component which needs constant servicing.
• Assaf’s Laws of Replacement Parts
  • A failed 25¢ part cannot be replaced by a new 25¢ part, but by a sub-assembly whose cost is equal to or greater than that of the device in need of the part
  • The cost and availability of a replacement part are in inverse proportion to the cost of the whole system: a $1500 device will fail because of the burnout of a 25¢ capacitor. But the 25¢ capacitor is either
    • no longer manufactured
    • manufactured only by a company in Outer Mongolia with an 18-month backlog
    • available only as part of a $1450 sub-assembly

  All things mechanical/electrical will catastrophically fail after the guarantee has expired, unless an extended guarantee has been purchased.
  Sent by Blair Murray

• The Harvard Principle:
  Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of temperature, humidity, pressure, etc., the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
• First Law of Linear Equations:
  Given any system n linear equations, there will be n+1 unknowns/li>
• The disappearance of a nagging error in a system is explicable only in terms of insignificant contribution of the source to that system
• The repairman will have never seen a model quite like yours before
• Law of Repairmen:
  The repairman fixes your machine to break down the next day and charges for a new machine.
• While technology progresses at the speed of light it’s implementation is filtered through the speed of bureaucracy
• In theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is.
• Stationary engineering law:
  never underestimate incompetency

Got a horror story about how one problem just added to another?  Have your own version of a Murphy’s Law?  Let everyone know in the comments!

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Friday was my last day of work before the big move. I have had to leave jobs a number of times in my IT career and I think this was probably one of my best exits so far. With the average person changing jobs several times over their careers, leaving one’s job with class is an extremely important skill to master.

While this may not be a very technical post, I think that it is something that is critical for every IT person to know. So, with that in mind, here is what I have learned about leaving gracefully.

Don’t Burn Your Bridges

In my mind, this goes without saying but for some it may not be as obvious. You never know when you will need these people or this company again. You might be looking for work in the future and need a reference or maybe they will be hiring again in a few years and you might be needing a job.

It never hurts to have more people on your side than against and pushing people away is never a good thing.

Give As Much Advance Notice as Possible

When my wife and I first decided that we were going to move, we know that this was going to happen more than two years in advance. I notified my employer immediately and they have known for a very long time that I was moving on. While I understand that this is a very unusual situation, it is generally in everyone’s best interest for you to give as much advance notice as possible.

My general rule of thumb is to give my employer twice as long notice as is legally required of me. I generally give at least one month.

Also, the more specialized your position and the harder it is to find a replacement, the longer your notice should be. This benefits your old employer and also indicates to your new employer that you are loyal and trustworthy.

Help to Find Your Replacement

Only you really know what you do and that makes you a very important asset when recruiting for a replacement. Help your old employer find your replacement by offering to help with the interviews, talking with friends whom you know in your industry that may be interested in your position and help them word the Internet and newspaper “Help Wanted” ad.

Train Your Replacement

Once your replacement has been found, help to train them. Get them to work a few days with you so that they can learn the ropes from a veteran. While your company can provide them with a job description and basic training, only you can show them those special nuances of the job that you have learned from your years of experience.

Work As If It Is Your First Day Until Your Last

A lot of people start to slack off as their last day draws near. This can be a huge mistake. This became very clear to me as I was leaving my last position. I did a lot of extra tasks that I was not technically required to do but it was noticed and because I pushed hard right to the very end, they decided to give me the annual bonus even though I was not technically eligible for it because I was leaving before the bonuses were distributed. Sounds like a win-win to me!

Maintain a Positive Attitude

It is really tempting to have a “What are they gonna do? Fire me?!” attitude once you have handed in your resignation. Don’t fall into this trap. These are the types of things that people remember when prospect employers call for references. You also don’t want people’s final thought of you to be “What a jerk!” or worse.

Ask For Letters of Reference

Letters of reference can be very helpful when looking for future work, even if you already have a new job lined up. Now is the time to ask for them because you are in a better position to positively influence what is in the letter. It is much harder to get an accurate and glowing letter of reference several years down th road.

Offer to Help in an Emergency

This hold especially true if you are in a technical position. I told my old employer that if there was an emergency, I would do what I could to help out my replacement and the rest of the technical crew. I made it very clear that this would be on a best effort basis and that their would be some compensation required for my help but that I would be there if needed.  This increases people’s opinion of you while also protecting yourself from being taken advantage of.

Make a Clean Break

I remember very clearly one individual that I worked with who quit to work for another company. His decided to take some time off before starting his new position.  Imagine how surprised we were when he showed up at the office the day after his last day of work!  He hung out at in the break room.  He would wait for people at the coffee shop during coffee break.  Eventually, his old manager had to come right out and tell him that he didn’t work there anymore and could no longer come around to “visit”.

Once you have quit your job, move on and do not dwell on the “good ol’ days”.

Keep In Touch With Your Work Friends

This may seem contrary to the previous point but actually, it is complimentary to it.  A friend that I met at a previous job has become a real mentor and support to me, even though he and I have not worked together a coworkers in over six years.  We made it a weekly ritual to get together for lunch and shoot the breeze.  But, we made sure to meet at a restaurant that was not one frequented by other former employees.  This way there was a very clear break between me and the company but not between me and my friends.

Write a “Thank You” Letter to Your Boss

Your parents taught you from a young age to always say thank you.  This also goes for the people who were responsible for putting food on your table and shelter over your head in exchange for work over the past number of months or years.  Do the classy thing and put a thank you in writing emphasizing everything you learned from working for them and for the opportunities that you received from the position.

Send a Farewell E-mail

Depending on your company, this can be a broadcast e-mail to everyone in your company, your office, your department, or just a few select friends.  Make sure you thank everyone for their contributions and let them know what the future holds for you.  You may even want to provide them with updated contact information.

Don’t Brag About Your New Job

I remember once a person working on the same team as me got a new job and from the time he announced he was leaving to the actual moment he walked out the door for the last time, all he could talk about was how wonderful his new job was, how much more money he was going to be making, and how wonderful the new company’s corporate culture was. All he ended up doing was making those up us left with our crappy, low-paying jobs and depressing corporate culture feel depressed.

While you want people to feel happy about your new career, you want them to be happy that you are moving on to bigger and better things, not that you are just moving on.  Don’t lift yourself up by putting others down.

Conclusion

I know that some of these are not going to be possible in every situation, especially if you are leaving under less than desirable circumstances (i.e. fired, laid off, etc.) but do whatever you can to implement as many of these as possible to maintain your professional status.

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It is quite popular these days to hire a headhunter when looking for work. And, on the surface, I thought it was a great idea. Why should I pound the pavement looking for jobs when these people do this full time and are willing to find me work without charging me? They get paid by the companies who are looking for employees and they get a percentage of my first year’s salary.  This means that they would get me the largest possible salary and it doesn’t cost me a dime!

Or does it?

When speaking with the two headhunters that I was working with, I made it very clear that I was looking for a management position.  It was also very clearly stated in my cover letter and in my resume that, while I was also very technical, I was definitely looking for a career in IT management.

At this point, the blinders went on.  Both headhunters wanted me to rewrite my resume to emphasis my technical side.  One headhunter even called me up later in the day and told me that she had a great leadership position for me.  The position ended up being a tech lead, something that I did almost a decade ago!

Based off my, albeit limited, experience with headhunters, I have made some observations which may or may not apply to other headhunters:

1. Headhunters are not actually working for you.  Rather, they are working for the employers and themselves.  You are really nothing more than a trading commodity akin to cattle.
2. Headhunters are not motivated to find me the best job.  Rather, they are motivated to fill as many open positions as possible.  This keeps their bosses happy by keeping the actual clients (the employers) happy.
3. Headhunters are not motivated to get me the highest possible salary.  If a headhunter can spend half an hour to get me a $40,000 per year job, do you really think that they are going to work to get me an extra $10,000 if it takes an extra five hours?  Especially when they can place ten more $40,000 people in that time frame.  This is typically referred to as the law of diminishing returns.
4. Headhunts will try to make you fit the job, not find the job that fits you.  I was told that I would never get the type of job I wanted with my resume (even though I already had the type of job I wanted already) but that she had the perfect job for me.  I was also told that my salary expectations were too high and that I would have to be more realistic, even though I was already making more that I was asking for and in a tougher market.
5. If you don’t fall in line, they will drop you.  Once I made it clear what I was looking for and that I was not willing to settle for a job similar to what I had done ten years ago, I never heard back from my two headhunters again. I am assuming that the effort wasn’t worth it.

Now, as I stated, this is based off a relatively short time with two headhunters and I could be completely off base.  Maybe I just got the two bad headhunters in the entire world.  Let us know about your headhunter experiences, good or bad.

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